How many men give respect to their wives or give them rights which Allah SubhanTa’laah has bestowed on her. Even many women among us don’t know their rights which Allah has given us. Parents should teach their about their rights before marriage.
According to Qura’an men and women have the same spirit. There is no superiority in the spiritual sense between men and women (Qura’an 4:1, 7:189, 42:11). The Qura’an clearly gives equality to all human beings.
According to hadith the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) told Umar R.A, “shall I tell you the best a man can treasure? It is a good wife. If he looks at her-she gives him pleasure, if he is away from her-she remains faithful to him, if he orders her-she obeys” (Transmitted by Abu Dawood in the authority of IbnAbas in zahat 2/1664; Al-Hakim ,who amended it 2/333 approved by Al Dhabby).
If a woman owns any property prior to marriage she can retain that property even after her marriage and that property remains under her control. Also in most Muslim countries woman keeps her own last name and her own identity because no one can force a woman to change her identity or surname.
Allah Ta’allah has given woman the right to choose her husband. Woman cannot be force to marry a man without her acceptance. Here is a story of a woman who went to Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him)
complaining that her father forced her to marry a man against her will. The Prophet (PBUH) refused that entirely. He allowed her to have divorce, but the woman said that she agreed with her father and said that she came to Prophet (PBUH) not to complain about her husband but to make every woman know that nobody can force them to marry a man who they didn’t want to.
Sahi Bukhari volume no. 67, book 62 narrated by Abu Huraira that Prophet (PBUH) said,” a matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her, and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission”. Islam obliges the man to give the dower (Mahr) to the woman as a symbol of his desire in wanting her. Allah says, ’and give to the woman (whom you marry) their mahr (obligatory bridal money) given at the time of marriage with a good heart, but if they remit a own good pleasure you take part of it, without fears of any harm”(surah 4-4). Allah has made it lawful.
The worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by husband is to keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time of marriage. This is the order of the Prophet (PBUH).
According to the Hadith”Ahaqqu al- shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaturn bihi min al-furaj-he cannot order her to do anything against religion”. The Prophet (PBUH) said,” no obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the creator (la ta’tan li makhluqin fi malisiyat al-khatiq). The great personality Prophet (PBUH) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
Husband must respect his wife and pay attention to her so that in return she will respect him. Husband must never divulge the secrets of the household and about their marriage. The Prophet (PBUH) said that the best gift or charity is that spent on your wife”. It is the right of wife that her husband must protect her honor and not place her in situation where it is compromised. The Prophet (PBUH) will not ever let him enter paradise who cares little and who shares his wife’s privacy. This includes husband’s brother, mother, uncle, nephew, father, friends, strangers and neighbors. Allah says in Holy Quran, chapter 4 surah Nisa verse 34, “men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means”.
It is not responsibility of wife to look after her in-laws. The responsibility and duty that Islam has laid upon the believing wife is only to make sure that her husband is pleased and satisfied with her in every aspect of life. She has absolutely no responsibility towards her husband’s family, but this does not mean she is allowed to be disrespectful or rude in any way towards her in-laws. But if a believing woman of her own free will serves the parents or family of her husband she would be doing a deed of “ehsaan” (a deed which would be over and above her prescribed duties and responsibilities. Allah has declared in holy Qura’an that He absolutely loves those believers who do ehsaan or deeds which are over and above their duties and responsibilities. Husband should always remain thankful to his wife if she looks after his parents.
A wife has right to earn but under some conditions. She can own property and has right to manage all her assets in any way she pleases, she can run her own business and her husband has no claim on her earning. One of the best example is that of the mother of all believers Khadija may Allah be pleased with her, she had a very successful trade. Qura’an states, “and in no wise covet those things in which Allah have bestowed his gifts more freely on some of you than on others: to men is allowed what they earn and to woman what they earn’ but ask Allah of his bounty for Allah have full knowledge of all things (4:32)