Shazia Imran
Most of parents consider their daughters as burden. Birth of sweet little doll is viewed as a curse. As soon as birth of daughter takes place, the family in general and the father in particular start calculating the huge financial burden that lies ahead of him. When a man hears that he is becoming a father of a girl, he starts feeling burden on his shoulders. Such is an evil of dowry.
A man was asked why he killed his premature and unborn female child. He replied if he doesn’t kill her today, tomorrow she will kill me financially or someone else will burn her for the sake of dowry. A study revealed that an estimated one million female feticide are being destroyed in every year in India alone.
Dowry originated in the upper caste of Hindu communities as wedding gifts from bride’s family to the groom’s family. Now Muslims have slowly started the act of dowry into their lives. Cultures that demands dowry from the bride’s family are actually practicing the opposite of what Allah commanded- Dowry abuse is most common among Hindus but now it is rising among Muslims too.
In Islam it is the man who pays Mahr (Dowry) to the woman. Quran prove that it is the man who have to pay the Mahr to the woman. It is written in Quran And give upon you a portion of it, then eat it with enforcement and with wholesome result ( an wise 4.4 )
Islam guides and has made it an obligatory condition of nakaah that a man who wishes to marry should generously fulfill the condition of mehr and according to his means pays the amount as a free gift to his bride at the time of marriage. But if the guardian or parents of the bride of their own will and pleasure give some gift to groom or to their daughter, there is absolutely no harm in accepting them, but if the groom or the groom’s family or social, cultural pressure demand and or make it a condition of marriage or even expect that the guardian of the bride are required to pay something in order for the marriage to take place, then such a demand would be absolutely unjustified and unwarranted in the sight of Shariah.
In religion there is no proof to receive dowry at any way. People celebrate on birth of boy and show dissatisfaction when a girl is born. Sadness takes place on everyone’s face when they hear news of daughter birth.
Children are beautiful gift from Allah and we should remain thankful to Allah for giving us such a beautiful gift. The birth of daughter is a blessing and the prophet (PBUH) said that they would be a shield for the parents from hell. The woman that gives birth to a girl as her first child is indeed fortunate as the first born of the Prophet (PBUH) was daughter too.
The reason many parents don’t want to have daughter is because of dowry. They will have to shell out at her marriage and the result is stress out at her marriage and the stress they go through due to never ending demands from her-in-laws. From the time a girl is in the womb, mothers have a hard time of it. If they survive female feoticide they get less nutrition than boys. They are less likely to be sent to school than their brothers, if they are the first to be pulled out, if there is a family crisis, they suffer child marriage. They are burden to their parents because of the dowry. Even if parents fill thirst of in-laws demands, even then they are considered burden for more dowry.
It is the dowry which makes a girl burden and son an asset who collects the dowry. It is dowry which makes life of newly wed girls or even house-wives with years of family life, extremely miserable. Hundreds of husbands try to kill their wives for their failure to get dowry money from their parents, this fills the pages of newspapers with so many wives are burnt to death by her in-laws because her father was unable to meet the dowry demand.
Girls do not get married timely at times so they commit suicide or are sold off to others. The heavy burden of dowry also accounts for the spurt in cases of bride burning.
Dowry is an evil system. And all of us contribute to it one way or another. Sometime boy parents do not demand dowry but our culture demand for it. We feel that we must give something to the in-laws even if they don’t demand. We should fight against it so that life of little dolls will not be miserable.